And Then There was...Puberty!

My first thoughts back to my adolescent years derive from my first thoughts of dying...let me explain. One evening after school, (I was in the sixth grade) my younger cousin and I were playing at my grandmother's house. I stood up to do something when my cousin noticed a spot on my overalls. Being that she had already began her menstrual cycle, she fell on the floor laughing saying that I "started my period." I cried in disbelief counterarguing that I must have cut myself. After being shocked for several minutes, I ran in my grandmother's room to tell her that I was bleeding but she was not there. On this day, I was glad my younger cousin knew exactly what to do because I would have been screwed if she wasn't there.

This period of my life is a tough one to discuss. Even after enduring all things with both of my parents, I would continue on as an academically gifted young lady. On the other hand, however, I would face great obstacles both socially and emotionally (see a trend?).

My adolescence did indeed start with puberty. After coming to terms with the fact that I was maturing in ways that I was not quite ready for, the moodiness and physical changes kicked in. I was angry all of the time and I did not understand why I was more shapely than the rest of my peers. Of course, this would lead to other problems...

At a time when peer pressure was highly prevalent, I would say that Erikson's theory would play a part in my development. I began to struggle with my identity. Erikson calls this stage of development, "identity v. role confusion." His premise basically says that if previous stages of development are met successfully then adolescents will most likely discover identity at an easier rate. Even though I was extremely developed cognitively, socially I was struggling. I was always around my brother who didn't really want much to do with me. Other than that, I spent time with counsins and classroom friends, but most often I stayed to myself. When I experienced middle school, it was an entirely different playing field. I did not know where to fit in. This would soon become one of the most troubling experiences for me. I was a smart student, but the smart students did not appear to be liked or respected by others. Identifying as such would be a big "no, no" for me. Furthermore, with this came exploration.

Of course, my grandmother had previously taught me right from wrong, however, my grandmother was not always around to acknowledge my wrongs or reasons for doing so. Here is where I would say Piaget's Theory of Moral Development may apply. I was moving away from the heteronomous morality and into the autonomous morality. I no longer worried about being wrong in fear of judgment, I just wanted to be accepted.

The rest of the story is a big blur. I could go into great detail about these years of my life and how I was so desperate just to fit in, but instead, I will spare the details and make one conclusion...

"If I'd known then what I know now"....but I didn't and I will not continue wasting my time regretting. I am thankful that I had the opportunity to learn from my mistakes and the mistakes of others and still be the person I am today. I believe a key component in adolescent years is for teenagers to be able to establish an identity. When this is done, the rest is quite simple. I just worry about the children that have no clue...remember parents play a major role in the development of a child's identity as well...but whose pointing fingers?